Quer pasticciaccio brutto de King Arthur

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A.K.A. Togliete il lettore DVD a Guy Ritchie.

Se volete la ricetta per il più assurdo guazzabuglio sulle vicende del Once and Future King, non andate oltre. Ce la mostra King Arthur – Il potere della spada.

750 gr. di Harry Potter (meglio se La Camera dei Segreti, soprattutto per via dei serpenti)

350 gr. Sherlock Holmes (tanto Watson ce l’abbiamo, e già che ci siamo, mettiamoci pure  un cucchiaino de The Young Pope)

300 gr. de Il Signore degli Anelli (Mordor State of Mind)

250 gr. de Il Trono di Spade (Da Ditocorto a Grassoqualcosa, mai un nome normale Aiden, oh! E davvero continuate a fidarvi di Roose Bolton? Shame! Shame! Shame!)

220 gr. Star Wars (e andiamo, chi non l’ha pensato, soprattutto sul finale)

170 gr. de Le Cronache di Narnia (Aslan, mancavate te e il Signor Tumnus)

110 gr. Mix in polvere di Troy e 300 (perché sì)

50 gr. di Marvel (Ultron e Vortigern BFFs)

Una spolverata di Vikings (Ragnar e Artù dovrebbero farsi una birra insieme ogni tanto)

Aggiungere riferimenti vari a piacimento.

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Un cast di primo livello – Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana, Katie McGrath (che a quanto pare, e con nostra somma gioia, non riesce a stare lontana da Camelot), Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, Aidan Gillen (e persino una comparsata di David Beckham!) – purtroppo non basta per far riuscire col buco una ciambella film che, già dalle prime scene, confonde più che sorprende lo spettatore.

Tra un serpente di troppo e una spada al neon che induce trip mentali, gli espedienti atti a rendere il film originale e differente dalle altre trasposizioni, lo portano invece a risultati più vicini al trash e al ridicolo.

Lo stile di Rtchie, che tanto aveva funzionato nel portare sul grande schermo le avventure di Sherlock Holmes, mal si adatta alla più recente rivisitazione delle gesta di Re Artù, fornendo un tono dissonante alla pellicola.

Se si possono apprezzare alcuni elementi – lo sviluppo caratteriale del personaggio di Artù, alcuni scambi di battute à la “Mike? Quale Mike” (non tutte però, il troppo stroppia, specialmente per questa tipologia di film), la colonna sonora altamente suggestiva e più che azzeccata – lo stesso non si può dire del montaggio e della fotografia: quello che vuole sembrare una presa artistica della sequenza narrativa, spesso ottiene un effetto di spaesamento che porta a una perdita di fluidità nel susseguirsi delle scene.

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Anche Charlie a petto nudo non si disprezza comunque, eh.

Stesso discorso per la sceneggiatura, che sembra risentire della fatigue imposta – direttamente e indirettamente – sia dalla spiccata inventiva mostrata da prodotti appartenenti allo stesso genere che hanno letteralmente inondato cinema e tv negli ultimi anni, sia dalla pressione imposta dall’incarico di catturare nuovamente su pellicola un personaggio così amato.

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Difficile, insomma, ritenere un buon prodotto un’opera che sembra – volontariamente o meno – più un taglia e cuci di successi di botteghino precedenti a essa che altro, e che poco aggiunge sul fronte tecnico e dei contenuti.

Quando è più Harry Potter Re Artù di Harry Potter, sorge spontaneo chiedersi che fine abbia fatto Dobby e perché Silente stia complottando contro il nipote (alla fine, non ci voleva molto per vedere Jude Law nel Potterverse, bastava attendere il sequel di Animali Fantastici).

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Se il vostro obbiettivo è quello di passare una serata in maniera spensierata e farvi due risate con gli amici, allora è il film giusto per voi; ma se sono epicità, personalità e solidità narrativa che cercate, magari in sala 2 danno ancora I Guardiani della Galassia.

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Laura

Fantastic Beasts Review

Yo, people!

Not dead, see?

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Great accomplishment, I know.

So, now that we have established my being alive and all, let’s get to business.

Who’s seen Fantastic Beasts?

Raises hand

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I did, and guess what: I loved it.

It’s odd, cause I thought I wouldn’t, and that I’d miss the Golden Trio and the original story so much that I wouldn’t enjoy this one.

You know, growing up with it, it’s not easy to let go of a world you’ve lived in for many years, and then go back after a while and find that everything has changed.

But I have to admit, it wasn’t bad at all.

With the recent disappointment of The Cursed Child, maybe we needed a breath of fresh air. Maybe we needed to go back, before going forward.

But let’s see what we have here: Newt, our “new Harry” (so to speak), is a total cinnamon roll.

I was afraid they’d cast Eddie more because of his recent success than him being fit for the role, but he is. Yep. And I’ve loved his characterization.

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Jacob and Queenie were fun too, adding a lighter feeling to the story.

What I didn’t exactly love was Tina. I don’t know if it’s the actress or the role itself, but I didn’t find it impactful enough for a female counterpart, not the way Hermione/Emma was. Of course, I’m not saying she had to be like her, but I felt something was missing, something that a character like Hermione had instead.

Anyway, the overall atmosphere of the movie was great, the roaring twenties’ NY was as enchanting as London (#sorrynotsorry, you know I have unconditional love for the States) and Grindelwald’s reign of terror was eerie af.

I’m not gonna spoil anything here, don’t worry, but I am gonna say that I’ve very much appreciated Colin’s rendition of the Evil Guy, and I’m looking forward to seeing the follow-up of that last plot twist.

Ezra was also a solid choice, though I would have liked to see more of him. Well… Ok, no, that would be spoiler, so I’ll just shut up.

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Moving on to the name characters of the movie, the much anticipated fantastic beasts: I. Want. A. Niffler. And a Thunderbird. And a Bowtruckle. Also, the Demiguise was cute. The others, I didn’t mind’em too much; but those in particular, I. Want. Them.

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So yeah, I liked the movie, and I’m really excited about the sequels.

Though to be honest, I feel like Ilvermorny could give so much as source material for a separate movie. I mean, the stories about its origins on Pottermore were great, why not give it a go?

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But that, my friends, is a topic for another day.

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Aside

ADDICTED TO MARS – A Veronica Mars Movie Review

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7 years.

7 years and tons of petitions.

7 years, tons of petitions, and countless requests from the cast and the fans.

7 years, tons of petitions, countless requests from the cast and the fans, and a record-breaking Kickstarter campaign.

That’s what it took to WB to finally give us the sequel to our favorite female detective’s story.

And finally, the day has come!

So, let’s start!

First things first: Veronica.

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The idea of presenting her journey back to Neptune through the addict metaphor is exactly what they should have done.

It fits in perfectly with the dynamics of the movie, other than the kind of mental place the protagonist finds herself to be in at the moment.

So, we walk with V this rehab path that should give her the closure she needs and allow her to go on with her life, away from her hometown and all the drama that comes with it.

Of course, that’s not gonna happen.

Even though it seemed to me that the case – the murder of popstar Bonnie Deville, formerly known as Carrie Bishop and current date of the one and only Logan Echolls – lacked a bit of the complexity so typical of the series, it was great entertainment.

I loved how it winked at – read mirrored – some of the most epic moments of the tv show.

Watching some of our favorite (and least favorite – Gia, Madison, I’m talking to you, girls -) characters reunited was definitely worth the wait.

Though I have to say, I would have appreciated a little more involvement in the case from the gang (Wallace, Mac, Weevil), a little more team play.

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But, hey, if that meant more LoVe scenes, I’m certainly not complaining.

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And about everyone’s favorite OTP: didn’t you just love it? The way those two are still so in love with each other after all these years, the need they have to be together.

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That’s the kind of relationship that makes you crawl into your bed, wrap yourself up with your covers and think: “I don’t care about murders and murderers, ruined lives, bloodsheds and everything else. I just want my Logan.”

Sigh.

Ladies and gentlemen, their love story – also thanks to the incredible chemistry between Kristen and Jason – has defeated not only the series cancellation, but also time. (9 years have passed since they last saw each other!)

And Piz.

You know, I like Piz. I really do. (And Chris Lowell is The Adorableness)
But let’s be honest: the guy should have seen that coming the minute he saw the news on tv.
Actually, he should have seen that coming since… Ever.
And he did.
He’s always known he was just a rebound.
On one hand, I admire the fact that he still went for it, even though he knew he and Veronica weren’t meant to be; on the other, the heartbreak was just inevitable, so…

Let’s just gloat for LoVe a little bit more.

Overall, we could definitely say the epicness has been succesfully transported to the big screen.

And yet, the bittersweet taste of the so longed “closure” made us wanting more of it.

Of course, every true fan knows that longevity is a double-edged sword: even if there was the slightest chance of a real comeback for the series (and I recall reading somewhere that it might be a not-so-remote possibility) there are no guarantees that the product would be as satisfying as we’d love it to be.

But wouldn’t be worse if we’d miss the opportunity to find that out?

I mean, if everything goes awry, we could always pretend it never happened and be happy with the movie as the real ending instead (Hello every-Heroes-season-that-is-not-the-1st-one!).

So I say: Let’s gamble!

After all, we’re Marshmallows, and we’re addicted to Mars.

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Special mentions

DICK.

We all love Dick (Casablancas).

Just admit it: There would be no Neptune without him.

LEO.

Didn’t you ship them a little in that pizza scene?

Plus, I didn’t dislike his character.

Well, better than Troy, anyway.

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KEITH MARS, CLIFF, VINNIE VAN LOWE.

These three.

All the awards.

SHERIFF LAMB.

Not my favorite.

Hating him just wasn’t the same.

Don, we loved to hate YOU.

DUNCAN.

The great absentee.

Not that we missed him whatsoever.

CAMEOS.

Brilliant.

Especially James Franco’s; the whole “orange thing” was simply hilarious.

Justin, Rob and Dax were great too, as it was Jamie Lee Curtis.

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27 Dresses – 27 volte in bianco

Ho appena finito di vedere questo film per la seconda volta.

Inutile dire che mi è piaciuto, altrimenti non lo avrei rivisto, ma credo che in questo caso sia più esatto dire che adoro James Marsden… =P

Ma chi non lo adora d’altronde? Lo trovo perfetto per il ruolo, mentre invece al posto di Katherine Heigl (che trovo simpaticissima, in ogni caso) ci avrei visto meglio altre attrici… Non so, una Emma Stone, una Kristen Bell, una Katie Cassidy o perchè no, anche una certa Mrs Gellar… Sarah Michelle, ovviamente!

Comunque sia, il film non è la solita commedia romantica banale e  sconclusionata,  realizzata solo per mettere in mostra attori “tutta apparenza e niente talento” e fare soldi facili…

Al contrario, l’dea di fondo è originale, la storia ben raccontata e alla fine delle 2 ore vi posso garantire che l’ultima cosa che penserete sarà “il solito filmetto insulso e mieloso”,

Certo, c’è sempre il rischio di cadere nella classica “depressione post happy ending” che assale circa il 95% delle spettatrici single e almeno il 60% di quelle effettivamente impegnate, ma che ci volete fare… Non tutte siamo così fortunate da incontrare bellocci come il nostro James o anche Josh Duhamel ( vedi “When in Rome” -” La fontana dell’amore”, altro film davvero carino) ai matrimoni!